The rest of my crappy job

Alright like I said yesterday today’s blog is going to be about the people that I have to deal with at work. These people are coming from all over so it’s very hard to group them into only a few categories but I shall try none the less. These people are some of the most stereotypical or just plain stupid people that I have run across in a very long time.

 

Let’s start with the people that I see at the parking lot.

 

Diamond members- I love these people. They get free parking and never stop to talk. Just a quick flash of their pass and a wave from my hand and they are gone through never to bother me again. More people should just pay the extra 10 bucks and keep the fuck outta my hair.

 

Regular members- You pay six bucks. A whole six bucks to park compared to Sea World’s fifteen dollar parking. They tell you when you sign up that you have the option of becoming a diamond member and avoid the parking fee. It’s your own damn fault that you didn’t sign up and now you come to me and bitch that you come here every weekend and therefore shouldn’t have to pay for parking. If I want to keep my job I have to say that I’m very sorry for your inconvenience and that you should talk to guest relations if you have any further problems. Please note though that the entire time hoping that you will choke on a rock or similar object. If you weren’t such a cheap bitch and want everything for free you would have just gotten the better card when they fucking told you about it.

 

Military guys- I like you as well. You do something that I would rather not. It’s cool that you guys get free entry and when I see you down at parking lot ill let you get free parking as well. However we get to…

 

Military wives- Fuck you all. You think that you deserve so god damn much just for being married to a marine. So what if your cheating on him every time he turns around and trying to fake being sad when you here something happens to one of his friends. Since its almost all marine wives around here I’m just going to throw this out and say that you are all the fattest fucking woman I have ever seen. How the hell did you ever trick these guys into marring you and having six kids I will never know. And why do you all listen to country? There has to be something more going on here because every time one of you drives up in your SUV’s your all listening to the same station playing the same song over and over. Side note: if I here that damn song about the guys father being an angel with one wing in the fire again someone is going to get shanked.

 

People who have their children count out the money when there is a large line behind them: Your kids are ugly and going to end up drug addicted groupies and I hope you all die.

 

Foreigners- Yes I know our money is all the same color and size. I understand that you don’t understand it. Just give me the god damn bill that I point at so we can get the fucking line moving. I won’t rip you off and ill give you the correct change just get the hell outta my lane.

 

People who give out magazines after they pay- This one is a two fold. Fuck you and thank you at the same time. On one hand there is the religious people handing out mini bibles and such and on the other is the people handing out sex toy catalogs. There people can save you from a boring day.

 

People who drive off without their change- You people fuck me up. I have to remember to put your money in a side drawer so I don’t misbalance at the end of the day. Plus why would you drive off when you paid eight bucks with a twenty? That’s twelve bucks you’re leaving behind.

 

People who pay for eight dollar parking with a credit card- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE THAT YOU DON’T CARRY CASH TO A PLACE THAT YOU KNOW HAS A PARKING FEE. Dear god I am tired of you fucking people that think that it’s perfectly fine to pay with credit. It takes at least forty-five seconds for the computer to process everything then at least another minute for you to fail at signing your name. Mean while I could have passed another three cars along with people paying in cash. You people all need to die.

 

Now we move onto the people who ride our helium balloon. This is a fifteen/twelve dollar ride depending on if you are a member or not. A huge rip off but people are stupid enough to go on it anyways.

 

Members- You are entitled to nothing past parking. This thing is expensive enough to operate considering it takes $100,000 worth of helium every six months just to keep it up in the air. Then you add on the diesel it takes to run the winch to pull it back down to the ground and for keeping the electronics running, you are lucky it’s as cheap as it is. If you really want to get on the thing then just pay for it like the rest of the saps that ride it.

 

Non members- Fuck you and your complaining that it’s too expensive. You’re coming to an amusement park/zoo type thing so you should realize that you are going to have to shell out some cash to get everything. Stop being so surprised that things cost money.

 

Foreigners- Pointing and basic finger numbers are much more effective at telling me what you want that trying to tell me in Chinese. I don’t understand what the fuck you are saying so stop trying. How you would even think of trying this in the first place is beyond me. Saying it in a large group trying to find an interpreter I can understand but saying right to me does nothing for you. Stop doing it.

 

 

That’s all I can write tonight. Thinking about work when I’m not working is hard enough. Stay tuned.

 

April 4^th, 2007

 

Zombie Jesus

My crappy job

As I said last blog today’s is very special to me. Today’s blog is about work. And more specifically it is about the people that I have to deal with at work and the things that go on there. Just for background reference let me tell you where I work and what it is I do and what it is I am supposed to do.

 

I work in the admission department as a cashier for the “San Diego Zoo’s Wild Animal Park.” It is basically a zoo but instead of many different small enclosures its one giant field with a bunch of different species in one. Unfortunately they do not put predators inside the large exhibit with all the herbivores. As entertaining as that would be sadly they won’t do that since the park is supposed to be world famous for the breeding programs it has to save endangered species. Mind you this place is big. Here is an outline of a picture taken from google earth just so you can see.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/SamuriaJesus/park.jpg

The pink is the land that the park owns and uses for various things like growing food and off exhibit areas. The yellow is the main park where the guests can go. You can look it up on google earth to compare it to the areas around it. Like I said it’s huge.

 

What I do as a cashier for the admissions department is charge people either 8 or 6 dollars for parking depending if they are a member of the park or charge people 15 bucks to go up into a giant helium filled balloon. Sounds easy enough doesn’t it? Unfortunately with all the bullshit that goes along with the job from both the customers and management this job is only one step above retail.

 

Not to long ago we had a meeting for the new tour that replaced the tram ride that we have had since the park opened. The tram has always been free for members and regular guests alike. The tour took about an hour and went around the four main large exhibits. The new tour is 25 minutes and goes around the North African exhibit. On top of cutting the tour down quite a bit they started charging for it. They got a new ticket which included the tour but raised the prices of the tickets from the old 28.50 to 34.50. This is the reason for raising it and I want you to read it carefully and try to understand.

 

“The reason that we don’t get as many quests as other major attractions is that our ticket prices are so low. So if we raise the ticket prices then more people will come to our park.”

 

This is their exact words. Not made up or changed at all. This is strait from our departments head person. They are fucking morons. I try and try to understand how they could think that this would make sense but the more I try the more I get confused and angry. How can this make sense even to the money hungry upper management getting 150,000 a year in a non profit company. And since we are supposed to b e all about helping out the animals as much as we can then I have to wonder why these people are taking down so much money. Looking over their job descriptions I can tell that it’s not really that hard of a job. Make the schedules for out department and make sure that the cash out papers are in the right order. Sure they have to do this for fifty six people right now but it’s still not that hard. And that is all they do. Three people doing this make down some very good money.

 

And they don’t have to pay any union dues like we do. We pay 22 bucks a month plus a 50 dollar a year thing to the teamsters and they don’t do a god damn thing for us. Even simple things like telling us when the hell the union meetings are extremely difficult for these dumb ass people to do. What’s even worse is that we can’t get out of this contract till 2009 because of some stupid by-laws in our contract. So we are paying for a union that won’t do a damn thing for us while we are getting screwed over and over.

 

By the way out department is the only one in the history of the park that has ever had a pay cut. A few years ago our department was making 14.50 an hour. Now they have us down to 8 bucks thanks to, yeah you guessed it, the Teamsters union! Fuck these pieces of shit unions that work for the companies instead of the employees.

 

That’s all for today. Tomorrow is going to be all about the people that I have to deal with working here. Stay tuned.

 

April 3^rd, 2007

 

-Zombie Jesus

Chickens in the city

This one is aimed at my neighbors. More specifically my neighbors pet chickens. Why in the hell do you have chickens if you live on a crowded street in the middle of the god damn city? Yes I know that you put everything you own into the back of your cousins old beat up ford and made your way across the border to make a nice life for yourself here but couldn’t you have left the god damn chickens at home?

 

And it’s bad enough that you have them but the fact that they never shut up is what pisses me off even more. They don’t just crow in the morning. They crow every god damn fifteen minutes from 4:30 in the morning to 11:30. I like my sleep damnit and trying to sleep with the sounds of these hell birds coming from fifteen feet away doesn’t allow me to do that. Get your god damn birds to shut up.

 

Plus what do you even do with them? All I see is a bunch of cocks feeding some roosters but there are no hens around so there are no eggs. Do you have them just for the sake of having them? All they do is eat and shit and make your house smell worse than it already does.

 

This brings me to my next point. What the fuck are you cooking over there that smells like my crotch after not taking a shower for two days? I go through my mental list of stuff that it could possibly be and come up short. It really smells like you are just shitting into a pan and cooking it. I’m nearly tempted to go over there and ask but I’m afraid of what I might find. I have found no other people anywhere in this neighborhood who stink as much as you guys do. Your lawn is nice and the hedges are trimmed. The outside of the house looks nice but I can only imagine the shit that you have brewing inside.

 

That’s all I got for now. Tomorrow is going to be one that is in my top 3 of things that piss me off. Stay tuned.

 

 

April 2, 2007

 

-Zombie Jesus

Escondido

Well let’s get this started off with a big one, my city, my place of residence, Escondido, Ca. At one point in time this was a small town of 30,000 people. Most of them were old and wanted a nice quiet place to settle down and die. That was in 1957. Fast forwards to 2007. The population is now at 133,559. Not a small town anymore. The problem though is not the people in the city; it’s the people who run the city. The city is labeled a “Golfers paradise with a small town atmosphere.” Here is the problem “small town atmosphere.”

 

Now normally you would think that this just means that everyone is friendly, you can leave your doors unlocked at night, and there is children frolicking in the yards. For the people in the city council it means piss as many people off that live here as they can so they will all move away so we can seem like a small town of rich old people who like to play golf.

 

It still has people that are friendly but only if you are part of their gang. If you’re not in one of the four main gangs that have the center of the city drawn out then you have the chance to get your ass beaten even trying to walk through one of these crap holes. If you leave the doors unlocked to your car or house its going to be broken into within an hour of darkness. You still have kids in yards but now they are naked running around with a carving knife, hooked on crack from their meth dealing parents.

 

Will the city ever show any of these places on TV or in postcards? Hell no they won’t. There are only two areas which will ever be photographed of this town. One- Country club lane and two- San Pasqual Heights. Two golf courses to each and 1000 million dollar homes that looks exactly alike. A bunch of rich golfing fucks trying to pretend that they have the good life in a nice out of the way town. Yet you will never see them head downtown. You won’t see them think of ways to improve the town for the better cause. No all you will ever here from these fucks is them wanting everyone who makes less that one hundred thousand a year out of the city.

 

So what does the city do? Do they refuse and try and clean up the town a little? Do they put some thought into why the city is like this? Do they remember all the shit they have already tried? No. No they do not. They bow to the whim of these over moneyed fucks and think of new ways to kick us all out. Now here is a list of all the shit they have done to us starting with the youngest of people going to the oldest.

 

Small children- closed down three parks in low income areas to make way for condos that no one anywhere close to those places can afford. Then the people building them commit fraud and burn one of the buildings to the ground because they sold about 1/4^th of one of the buildings.

 

Teenagers- Closed down the bowling alley, the arcade, the LAN center, and jacked up the price to the skate park. The mall is nothing but major chain stores now and it’s hard enough to get too. The movie theater is 10 bucks and you can’t wear hats, beanies, headbands, do- rags, gang colors (Which could include fucking everything), extremely oversized shirts and some other stuff that I know I’m missing.

Young adults (young to mid 20’s) – No clubs and all the bars are watched by the cops for the slightest sign of enjoyment. There is no nightlife here at all and driving past 11:30 PM is a great way to get pulled over by every cop in town.

 

Middle age people – No way in hell could they ever afford a house in this town without getting eye deep in dept. The city of Escondido is now pricing low income housing at 400,000 dollars. How in the fuck is that low income? And most of the time they are not even nice houses but places that were built in the 60’s and had eight families of Mexicans living in it together.

 

Old People – These are the only people who have it a little bit easier for one reason. They were smart enough to get the fuck out this place and move to Florida.

 

Now you go into groups. I really don’t want to go into this because it would make me sound incredibly racist which I don’t want to come off as. I hate everyone so ill just lay down a brief over view.

 

The city tried to pass a bill that anyone renting would have to posses a valid birth certificate, driver’s license or proof that they were legally allowed to be in the United States. This made country wide news for how bullshit it was. You would have to submit everything to the city so they could have it on file or risk being fined a pretty penny and/or arrested. Thankfully this was shot down by the city being to damn broke to even try and take this to court.

 

Now they are trying to make it illegal to park on a street from 2am to 6am.

 

Re-read that.

 

No parking from 2 to 6 am. At all. Does this really need explaining to understand just how fucking stupid these people really are? If a car is parked on the street it could be towed without any notice to the owner. Now what about the people who own trucks for their businesses? Let’s take my father for example. He owns an E350 dually box van. Its about 25 feet long and there is no way in hell that it would fit in the driveway with my little Mitsubishi in there. Basically if this passes him and everyone else who has a work truck or more than two cars is completely fucked.

 

And what is worse on this is that they are trying to pass it without holding any public hearings on the matter. The three people trying to push this through want it done in 30 days with no meetings. It makes me wonder just how god damn stupid these people have to be to think that something like this will get through and that people won’t fight it at all. God knows if they try something with my dads truck the tow truck is going to be missing a few windows and tires.

 

Ill go on more about this as more news is put out on it since this is going to be one of the things that’s going to make me hate this place and the people in it for a long time.

 

-Zombie Jesus

 

April 1^st 2007

What this is

Starting April first I will begin writing everything that annoys me or makes me hate something during that day and explaining why it does so. The amount of hate that will be in each and everyone of these post will depend on my mood and what it is that im writing about. With all the things that piss me off during the day you can be sure that this will become a very large blog.